Dracula’s Winkee

The truth can finally be told! Legendary Hollywood narrator, Chardonnay Wafflehutt, begins to unravel the actual audio diary of Dracula! Bringing fear to the villages of Transylvania. Escaping ruthless Vatican-sanctioned enemies. And daring to taste forbidden love with the only woman to own Dracula's black heart, Gretchen Von Stroodlehymen. Are you ready to embrace the Winkee...?          

Dracula seeks to escape another torturous nightmare of lost love, Gretchen Von Stroodlehymen.
Opening fan mail only depresses the mega-boomer derp vampire more. Then, hope comes from his only friend-- Juan!
And you, dear listener, become very jealous. Because is your BFF an armadillo? NO! Yours is not. Praise be to Juan! 
 

Legendary Hollywood narrator, Chardonnay Wafflehutt, takes us by the wrists and yanks us into the dark, dangerous world of Dracula's foes. Two men with hidden pasts meet in a most wicked place-- the tea & scone shop known as Yummy Tummy! One a holy warrior from the Ancient Order of the Prissy Unicorn. And the other a master spy and the only Vatican-sanctioned street pimp! Who are the Enclave? What plans do they have to extinguish the Lord of the Undead once and for all? And will there be enough sticky buns?  

Dracula's world continues to be smothered in loneliness. When his anger causes an argument with Juan, the BFF offers a tough love solution. There's a new girl in town. Visiting her aunt and uncle… from the far away land of America! Rumor has it she's eager to find out if the legendary passions of Dracula are for reals. And like all American women under 25, she's a virgin! Will Miriam be the one who ends the Prince of Darkness' dickie drought?

This is the episode everyone has been waiting for... Dracula visits the new village virgin, Miriam! But who is seducing who? To ensure we present a tender narrative about hippular friction, we have asked our male writers to take their dude bro pens out of the room. And we've turned this sexy, dangerous rendezvous over to highly-praised Erotica writer, Melissa Vanderhump. Look away, listeners! This audio podcast is sassy.

Teabag McJoy, holy warrior. Sister Agnes, the Mo Fo Superior. SD P'Tang, street pimp extraordinaire. Calling together the world's mightest heroes and enemies of Dracula! Sit in on a meeting with THE ENCLAVE. Plans are set in stone. The net is cast. And scones are served. All this... and Flathead Kate! You're welcome.            

Dracula wallows in a walk of shame after his night with Miriam, the American virgin. His mind can't help but wander to... Gretchen. Reliving the first time they met. And yeah. Probably doing the hummina-hummina haaa.
As always, Juan is there to pick up the pieces. But most importantly, we finally answer your #1 fan request--- Chad the Hippie Werewolf pays a visit!
It's full moon fever, shrouded in a fog bank of weed.
 

Sister Agnes, Teabag McJoy, and SD P'Tang call an emergency meeting to finalize the extermination of Dracula!
Chardonnay Wafflehutt hijacks the recording studio!
And legendary TV gameshow host, Sparky Guidonian, puts the pressure on the Enclave to name the Top 3 Destinations Dracula might escape to in America.
If you can guess them, loyal listener, you win a dream date with Sparky!
 

Dracula! Gretchen Von Stroodlehymen! The night they escaped the Secret Sisterhood of the Divine Traveling Ya-Yas! At last, the story of their forbidden love plays out! Questions are answered. Fates are determined. Do wishful winkees and hopeful hoo-has live happily ever after? Plus Chardonnay Wafflehutt shares his own romantic night with ABBA. That's in your head now. Forever.  

The Prince of Darkness finally leaves the protection of Transylvania. The Enclave locks down every airport in Europe. Their best assassins wait in the target destinations of New York, Florida, and New Orleans!
Will Juan's plan to get Dracula to America work? Can he survive traveling economy class? And who is the enemy hot on his trail?
Grab your Winkee! It's the Grand Finale!